KUALA LUMPUR, May 29 — Having been confined to celebrating Eid at home for two consecutive years due to the implementation of the Movement Control Order (MCO) following the COVID-19 pandemic, this coming Aidilfitri is much awaited by the Muslim community to rekindle the bonds of tradition through “ziarah menziarahi’ (visiting).
With all impatiently waiting for the day, which is the grandest day in the Islamic calendar, many have already drawn up plans to visit the homes of family members and friends, while aware of the need to adhere to the standard operating procedures to curb the spread of COVID-19, although the country is now in the transition to the endemic phase.
In rejoicing the Eid celebration, do not ignore the conduct and manners, or etiquette, when visiting family members, relatives, friends and neighbours at their homes, failing which, it can risk damaging the relationship or bond.
Even when visiting siblings or close relatives at their homes, it is important for visitors to mind their manners and conduct to ensure the ties or relationship with the host is preserved, said a Family and Love Guru Rozieta Shaary, or affectionately known as ‘Ibu Rose’.
“Don’t take lightly the etiquette when at other people’s homes. It can cause misunderstanding, which can lead to quarrels if the guests don’t conduct themselves in a befitting manner when at someone else’s home. The responsibility of a guest is to make things easier for the host.
“It is just like going to your aunt’s house, don’t make demands even though you are close to her.
“Don’t think, it is okay, that aunty will not mind. Of course, the aunty will say she doesn’t mind, but, as guests, it is proper that when visiting her, we should make sure our children don’t mess up her place, and if the children mess up the place, help clean up the mess,” she said when contacted by Bernama.
The issue on decorum or etiquette when going visiting during Aidilfitri is not new. The matter always crops up and has been raised by chef Datuk Redzuwan Ismail, also known as Chef Wan, who blamed parents for failing to ensure their children behave when visiting relatives or friends at their homes.
Redzuwan’s views received various comments from the public, some of whom also shared their experiences and displeasure on the behaviour of their guests’ children, like turning the living room into a mini playground, making a mess of the dining table, going into bedrooms to look for toys.
There were also complaints on guests throwing their child’s diaper into toilet bowls and their children going into bedrooms to look for toys and opening the refrigerator as they were in their own home.
Commenting on that, Rozieta said parents should educate their children by frequently reminding and telling their children of the do’s and don’ts when visiting relatives or friends at their home.
“Parents should not resort to threatening their children. Instead, tell the children nicely, why it is not good to mess a host’s house, and if the children want to play with the toys in the house, tell hem to get permission from the host first.
“Parents should also monitor their children when visiting. Both the parents should do this, and for those with a child still using the diaper, they should bring along a plastic bag for use to thrown the disposable diapers, instead of just throwing it straight into the dustbin. Never flush the diapers in the toilet bowl,” she said.
On etiquette, Rozieta said it also included conversations.
“Avoid asking sensitive questions that can make the host uncomfortable, like about marriage and having kids, if the host is single or still without a child. Don’t engage in body-shaming either.
“Ask feel-good questions and to quickly apologise if you know you have made the host uncomfortable with your questions or comments,” she said.
Rozieta said what is important is for the guest and host to create a harmonious environment during the visit.
Don’t let bad manners ruin the good intention of the visit, which is to strengthen ties after two years of not able to meet, to end on a sour note.
